How To Be More Tactiful and Diplomatic

Regrettably, this decision is often an automatic based on our own personal preferences. Direct and assertive people like people to be direct when speaking. That is how their world operates. However, others are more sensitive and like to work with a great degree of harmony. That is their world, and that is the way they like it.

When you need to engage with somebody, and you have a difficult message to deliver, a call needs to be made about how direct and assertive you can be, or , how tactful and diplomatic you need to be to keep away from causing offense.

In order to decide how much tact you need to add to your message, you need to make a judgment on how sensitive the other person is, say on a scale of 0-10. Look for these clues...

• How do they treat others? Are they cautious with the way they express things trying to keep away from upset?
• How sensitive are they to what others are thinking? Can they pick up on the subtle clues and surprise you with how much they appear to know about how people are feeling?
• Do they listen first before sharing their views?
• Are they apologetic and cautious?
• Do they make lots of time for others and have a reputation for being approachable and a nice listener?

These are some of the clues you can start looking out for. Proof of any of these will start to nudge somebody up towards a score of ten. The higher they go, the more tactful you very certainly require to be.

• What else might be going on in their life right now?
• How personally connected are they to the object of your feedback?
• How much hard work and time have they put in to that work?
• Will they feel embarrassed in front of others who are important to them?
• How much pressure/stress are they under at the moment?

Sure, lots to think about, however in the event you require to rid yourself of the ghost of feedback past, you require to become skills (and fast) at spotting the clues and making conscious choices about the amount of tact and diplomacy you deploy on any engagement at work. One time you have completed that, then it becomes much simpler being direct without offending people.

Adapted from Colin Gautrey